Floater & Top 10 January 2012

You know what’s really disconcerting?  When you hear a gurgle coming from the bathroom and upon investigation you see the toilet bowl that was flushed and clean is now murky and a wee turd is just chillin on the surface.  I’m almost 90% positive that didn’t come from me. *shivers and flushes*

This trip has proven to be way different than any other time I’ve left home.  What is usually filled with stories, adventure and excitement has almost entirely turned inside and I’ve been really introspective and rather introverted.  Whatever self-exploration I was supposed to do the last time I left, but managed to successfully avoid, for the most part, is happening this time around, like something fierce.  Don’t get me wrong, the last 5 months I was in India definitely helped lay a foundation for further exploration and my trip home provided lots of insight into myself and shined a light on just how far I’ve grown and changed in some respects and where lots of work still needs to be done.  The inner workings of my brain space is not exactly something I want to write about, at least not publicly, and I’ve been more enjoying talking it out w/ the wife over Whatsapp so my blog has taken a back seat to reading, learning and thinking, not brooding, just thinking. 

I did have one bought of food poisoning that left me exploding out of both ends of my body, simultaneously no less, when my body didn’t absorb a single teeny thing for about 48 hours.  I’m pretty sure my abs became ripped from so much retching and here I thought the pollution induced coughing spasms were going to leave me w/ a six-pack o abtacular muscle!  My sister coined the loving term “vooping” for such grand occasions of hellacious existence when she was traveling through Guatemala a number of years ago, a term I have adopted and gotten the privilege of using on almost every one of my travels abroad.  That’s about as much adventure as I’ve experienced the last 5 weeks, oh, excluding the dead guy they dragged off the beach in broad daylight, all pretty exciting stuff, huh?  Since I am being so self analyzing though I wanted to start posting something I started doing India round 1.  Roshan, our teacher at Yog Peeth in Rishikesh, suggested we start doing a top 10 the 1^st of every month of our 10 things we love/dig about ourselves and the 10 things we don’t dig so much.  We all have amazing qualities about us and, conversely, things that are challenges to not only ourselves but to others, AND since I left my journal in my storage unit at home that had these for the months I diligently logged them, I’m just going to post them here.  I have no reason to hide what I think is awesome about me and what I think sucks and really, no one else should either, and, I’d kinda like to have it available so I can look back on them.  I did my one for January on Dec 31^st and I’ll be doing the Feb one in about a week or so and it’s been interesting to do.  At first it took me awhile to think of 10 things I loved about myself and no time at all do to the 10 things I didn’t like and while I was at home I spaced on doing this but I really find it valuable, especially since so much of why I’m gone is to force myself into uncomfortable situations to see how I respond.  I’m a glutton of sorts. ;)

Top 10 Likes/Dislikes

Likes:

1. Loving, unconditionally
2. Easy, open and honest communicator
3. Wisdom seeking
4. Selfless
5. Better at seeing people/situations for who/what they are not who/what I want them to be
6. Easily adaptable and flexible
7. Get along well with just about anyone I meet
8. Organized
9. Always trying to be a better person for myself and for others
10. I am really really fun! J

Dislikes:

1. Need to be a better listener and question asker
2. Self discipline needs lots of work
3. Emotions rule too much of my life (I feel my feelings w/ feeling as my friend Summer once told me)
4. Attachment/detachment issues
5. Need to be more present
6. I don’t always trust myself
7. Get easily drawn away by distractions, especially pretty ones
8. Sometimes lack tact or when emotional, struggle with communicating what I really want and how I really feel
9. Still need improvement on not taking things personally
10. Lack patience

Well this was exciting!

XXXOX,

Dirty

p.s. Happy 1/2 birthday to yours truly! yeah!