I’ve determined that if left to my own devices in the wilderness, I would be killed by any number of the natural beasts that roam this earth. What is it with me and near death/injury or general paralyzing terrifying experiences with creatures other than humans? There were the pissed off elephants in Africa, the monkeys in North India, the dive bombing seagull in Seattle, the humped back whale in Maui and I’m sure there have been others in the past and today, I can chalk up another moment of terror thanks to the holy cows.
I’ve found hidden “streets,” which are actually dirt paths, that cut through the middle of Arambol, that I’ve preferred to walk during the day but before all the shops open, I really enjoy walking the main road to get to the other end of town for my Aerial Silks class, which don’t worry, I’ll talk about later in either this blog or a subsequent one when my fingers are more functioning. As I’m journeying to the monster tree where two lovely silks suspend in the small clearing behind our teachers house, I walk past all the shops as they roll the metal security doors up, dust off their items, organize the store fronts and put all of their goods on display. I approached the main turn in the road by the thali shack that has the absolute BEST and cheapest Masala Chai and the cheapest vegetable thali at the lovely cost of 40 rupees, equivalent to $0.80, in town. Also at this little junction is a juice shack where you can get a freshly dropped coconut hacked open w/ a straw plopped into the hole so you can slurp the wonderfully delicious coconut water. I was really jonesin for a coconut but on the other side of the road I saw this huge dust cloud. I don’t know what I initially thought it was, actually no, I do, I thought someone was using a lawn mower or something odd because there was quite the commotion. Not wearing my glasses and having terrible vision of distance I got a bit closer and saw 2 cow head butt the hell out of each other. All of a sudden a stick comes hurling at one of the cows backs and not 2 but 4 to 6 cows half stampede, half head butt each other in the middle of the street, catapulting their massive bodies directly in my direction. I’m only about 50m away and I fucking HAUL ASS towards the beach where I had just come from as one cow hauls its body at another and they skid from one side of the street to the other, slamming towards the shops and fortunately, only grazed a few. Red plastic chairs are flying in the air, the few other people walking on the street all abandon whatever plans they had and start to run away, a few women scream and I finally find an open shop and with agility I didn’t realize I still possessed, duck deep into a shop, hiding w/ all of the men with their embroidery machines, stitching Angry Birds on cotton t-shirts. What in the hell is it with Angry Birds on clothing?! Come on people! Anyway, I turn to look out the shack’s opening and see 2 of the cows just outside looking pissed as hell and I clutch my bag to my chest, like my bloody yoga mat is going to protect me, and I turn to look at the Indian man standing right next to me and I must have a look of sheer terror wipe across my face as I made an “EEEEECK!” noise.
The next thing I see is a stick coming down to hit one of the cows on the back and men running down the street making the kinds of noises you would speak when living on a farm, you know, the clicks, haaaaaaaaiiiiiii’s and whatever else you can envision Clint Eastwood saying to a horse. The cows slowly start to separate, cars get impatient and honk their horns, which I can’t imagine would really help the situation but you know, Indian’s are weird so whatever they do, do it guuurl. I carefully peek my head out and see the coast is clear(ish) and I very quickly walk down the street, holding tight to the shops and any potential refuge from a possible full on charge. As I round the corner and quicken my pace even more I see a man on the other side of the street where 4 of the angry cows where, shooin them in MY direction. Holy fuck balls! I’m booty swiveling competitive walking now, which I learned from watching Oprah years ago, and I see safety in the Himalayan Iyengar Center sign suspended over the road because that’s my turn off in a direction that is hopefully pissed off cowless. I get to the turn off and breathe a sigh of relief and continue on my merry way to the most amazing thing ever, my Aerial Silks workshop. At one point when we were sitting during our warm up some angry looking cows came up from the beach and were heading straight for us, and I can’t lie, my chest may have felt like a vice grip was just cranked around the part of my chest, cutting off any functioning capabilities of my trachea. It seems we have made our spot their former path and they were a bit perplexed but left us alone, thank Shiva! I may need to reinstate chanting the Saturn Mantra Sanjay’s guru gave me to chant whenever I see cows. I mean, he didn’t give it to me to chant whenever I saw cows but to chant because it’s good for me and whilst stressed, it seems to calm me. It seemed to work when I was surrounded by monkey’s in McLeod Ganj.
Ok, after a really emotionally charged week of awesomeness I’m going to lay my nekkid bod down on my bed for a nap. One of my new friends is on the verge of going through a bad spell and I may have a roommate for a few days so my routine of coming home and immediately stripping off my clothes like they were swarming with maggots may be halted temporarily. I hate wearing clothes I’ve decided. I also had no idea being so happy and having so many amazing things going on could give you an overload headache, or maybe that’s the lack of water knocking on my Parietal (yeah, anatomy, I know it). I think I want to hide tonight in a book. Btw, just started reading Nelson Mandela’s autobiography and W-O-W, I wish I would’ve read this before going to South Africa! As if I wasn’t already disgusted with white people and the Western World and the superiority complex going along with both of those as it is…
It’s Feb 1, and I did my 10 likes and what I’m now calling “opportunities.” You know, I’m going all Tony Little on my own ass with positive speak. Wait, no, that’s Tony Robbins and Tony Little is the “swish swish” workout machine guy right? Whatever… I’m losing it so until later…
XXXOX,
Currently Silk Burned yet always Dirty
P.S. All this Aerial makes me want to slice into one of those crazed holy cows and grill up a thick ass hamburger. May as well slice open one of those humping pigs adjacent to the yoga hall too and throw some bacon on there with it. STREET MEEEEAAAATTT IN MY MOOOOUUUTH HOLE! NOMNOMNOM!!
P.P.S. Feb 10 Likes/Opps below... yeeeeaaahh!
February 2012 Ten Likes/Opportunities
10 Likes
- Greater self-awareness
- Listen to my physical body
- Always seeking more knowledge/wisdom
- When I say I want to do something, I DO it
- Positive energy a majority of the time
- Appreciate what I have and don’t focus on what I don’t have
- Honest
- Unlimited truly unconditional love for my friends and family
- Selfless
- Taking time to really work on and understand myself to be the best me for me and in turn for others
- Dedication and loyalty to things I love
10 Opportunities
- Improve self-discipline
- Don’t get affected by other people’s energy
- Gain patience and get less annoyed
- Break the metal clasping my heart and let go
- Decrease rigidness in ideas
- Act vs. React
- Breath when emotional and gather thoughts before communicating
- Attentively listen more and talk less
- Create and keep a budget
- Detach from expectations of everything
No comments:
Post a Comment