Vooping

Zzzzzzzzzzzzz…

Friday, 24.December.2010

First – I had a hell day in the dead heat grinding 29835932853 fence braces and I have burns all over my body, mostly on my elbow and my tank top was burned through along w/ my sports bra.  Awesome!  Emily made me a lovely gin and tonic to refresh me and I guess my mistake for handing her a big jar because she filled it with WAY too much gin.  Now, when I get drunk, I want to sleep.  I think progress has been made. Ha J

Last night I dreamt I had a massage scheduled and I got 15 minutes of my 1 hour but someone else had an appointment during that time so I had to come back to get the remaining 45 minutes.  Weird dream because I never get 1 hour and always get 1 ½ hours with my masseur crush.  Rome asked when I would be coming back to work and I said 7am.  In the meantime I went skiing (I DON’T SKI!) and around 7 I realized the other dude would be done with his massage at 7 and I wouldn’t be done closer to 8!  Shit!  I reluctantly told Rome and just seeing the look on her face I responded with, “I’ll just cancel my appointment and go another time.”  What does this mean?!?!?!

Merry Fucking Christmas, Bitches!

Christmas, 25.12.2010

Have you ever had that moment when you think, “Holy shit, I’m really here!  My life is so fucking amazing!”?   I love those moments and they usually come when I’m laying w/ my face nuzzled into the neck of someone who has completely shackled my heart with their bare hands or when I’m just in complete awe of where I am and what’s going on, bitch.  The former is about as rare of an occurrence as me not flipping my shit around a midget, but the latter, my god, I think it happened on rinse and repeat today, times a million (slight exaggeration).  Here’s a recap of one fucking amazing Christmas (yes, “fucking” and “Christmas” were just used in the same sentence):

·         Waking w/ Vinyasa ala Jess w/ Row in the convent rose garden to sweat out the gin from the night prior, commence headache (as rad as a slight hangover can be).

·         Lesotho x-mas mass w/ amazingly beautiful singing BUT it was 3 ½ hours long.  I made it through 45 minutes.

·         Nap

·         AH-MAZ-ING hike in the hills and along the donga’s  w/ Row, Karen, Meg and surprise accompaniment from Tabong and Jon.  Photos cannot do justice to the shear jaw dropping beauty of this country and I know some of you at home would shit yourself with joy if you were here with me.  The boys DUG silhouette photos when we ran across monster rocks that showed our shadows.  Tabong walked us to his house to meet his entire family and see all the land he has at his disposal to farm, which was so expansive and impressive.  He also had me drink a traditional Lesotho drink, which looks REALLY creamy and had bits of only god knows what in it so I made him and Jon drink it before I did, considering his entire family was laughing as I put it up to my lips.  Tabong said, “It’s Black Label.”  I said, “Oh hell no this is not, I drink Black Label and THIS is no Black Label.  Jon chugged it so I succumbed to his offer and it was quite delicious.  I think I also married his older brother while there and his mom said, “good bye daughter in law,” as we walked back to the school grounds. HA! I had to be convinced to go on the hike because it was bloody effin hot out and I wanted to go later – so glad I’m a sucker for peer pressure.

·         Adorable kids galore at the convent who were really into getting “captured” or “made” aka: photographed. 

·          Wonderful x-mas dinner w/ all the volunteers and the nuns.

·         Evening hike up the hill to star gaze on the limestone rock slabs w/ a bottle of Amarula w/ Row, Karen, Meg and Jackie.  I called my mom and Gary to wish them a Merry Christmas and upon answering, my mom immediately yelled “OMG MY GIRLLL!!!” and started to cry.  Because I’m a total and complete cream puff of emotional mush, just like the immediate reflex to yell “FUUUUUCK” when I hit my funny bone, which isn’t very funny, tears welled in my eye balls.  Oh those reflexes…  Saw tons of shooting stars, the milky way, sang countless songs from the Sound of Music and sent a few text messages to some of my loves.

Since Number 1 and I broke up a number of years ago and my family became split during the holidays, I’ve hated Christmas.  If my family can’t all be together, it’s depressing but spending time with dear friends, old and new, in a completely different country, doing great work for a community that’s ridiculously thankful is such a great way to spend the holidays.  The only thing that would’ve been better, was to have you all with me but know you all were in my thoughts as I laid there, smiling, getting eaten alive by bugs, sipping my Amarula, looking into the limitless sky of little beams of light.

Stairway to…

Sunday, 26.December.2010

Happy Boxing Day!  What the fuck IS Boxing Day, you may ask?  Fuck if I know!  I’m googleless so look it up yourself and report back to me, please and thank you J  So Row just got back to our cozy little abode after finally making it through the shower line and exclaims, “I found new bruises!!”  She bruises like a champ and has not the foggiest clue where 90% of them came from.  “Jesus Christ Row,” I yell after she shows me one on her leg, “I only bruise like that if I’m dating a biter!  What the hell, eat a banana or nosh on some iron!”  And for the record, I quite enjoy biters… a lot!  Back to Row though, she says it’s because of weak blood vessels but regardless of the reason, they are all sorts of awesomeness.  The boarder guard at the exit of South Africa, this past week, asked her to bring whatever man was beating her to him.  Oh the hilariousness.  She’s precious and I will miss her dearly when she leaves on Wednesday but guess who comes on Wednesday night though?? DADDY!!  Ah I can’t wait!  I swear to god Isabel, or as we both loving call each other, DADDY (said in a really creepy drag queen voice), and I only spend time together outside of the US and we only live just 10 minutes from each other.  I guess it has something to do with busy lives or whatever, which keeps us apart all year, excluding our altruistic international trips.  Actually, the last time we hung out in Seattle was August 2009.  Jesus – that feels like ages ago!  It will be great spending a month with her here and lord knows the kids are going to attack her once she sets foot on campus considering one of the first questions most asked me when they saw me was “Do you know when Izzy will be here?”  I’m predicting tears will be shed.

It’s only 7:45pm Lesotho time and I’m not going to lie, I’m wiped the hell out, bitch.  Rome slated Row and me to construct the frame for the impromptu stairs that now wrap around this slope that leads down to the new bridge.  Once she said the words at 5:30am this morning, I’m sure the look on my face showed her I thought her to be a complete wackjob. 

Oh pause – Row and I were just invited to our friend Nkwelle’s house for wine and I have a man crush on his brother so time to throw off the PJs and put on.. uhhh a wife beater and boy shorts bcs that’s all I brought.  Yes, you read that correctly… I have a man crush.  Chalk that up to crush number 2 on this trip thus far… I must be in need of a distraction but he’s so pretty and chiseled it’s ridiculous.  That felt weird just typing that…

I’m Only One Stomach Flu Away from My Ideal Weight

Monday, 27.12.2010

I’ve spent the last 24 hours slowly dying.  The sounds of Africa, drumming, singing, chanting, crickets, frogs, weird birds, thudding house music in the distance, are all really beautiful, unless you’re doubled over vooping every 45 minutes.  Don’t know what “vooping” is?  Think about it a sec… my sister created the lovely term some years ago and it’s quite uhh… wonderful?  I.Wanted.to.Die!  If it wasn’t for us having a doctor on site this week, I’d probably still be doubled over laying in bed, instead, I’m sitting up in bed – Progress!  I’ve finally been able to keep a oral rehydration salt concoction down and the feeling of my brain oozing out of my scull orifices has subsided.   I don’t know what the hell happened last night but from 10pm until 6am, there was an incessant drumming off in the distance and a faint sound of chanting.  As wee hours progressed, the drumming and chanting got distinctively louder and it did not sound happy, in fact, I thought I heard a gun shot once it got close to the entrance of the  school/convent.  That didn’t make it stop, nor did it help the pounding in my head and in my stomach and intestines.  I laid in bed, doubled over of course, thinking some witch doctor was going to pound his way into campus and take my head for some sacrificial ceremony.  I’m happy to report, that did not happen; although, at the time, it probably would’ve felt better than the alternative reality I was living.

Speaking of doctor in the house.  Row sliced the fuck out of her hand putting fence frames together.  I was laying in bed, doubled over, when this all went down but apparently it cut down to the fat in her hands and she went into shock and freaked the hell out.  As soon as Rome and Doc Cindy got back from a grocery store run, Cindy stitched her up and drugged her up.  She sacrificed her hands/gloves for little Jackie so he wouldn’t slice his own hands and low and behold, one wrong step while carrying a frame and her  hand landed on one of the spikes at the end of the fence.  At least we know it works?  Aye!  I don’t enjoy the fence/razor wire job.

The glare of my screen isn’t helping my head and we’re onto thunderstorm number 2 of the day.  I’m going to return to my horizontal position and hope I feel awesome in the morning.

Slippery Slope

Tuesday, 28.12.2010

I’m ALIVE!!!  I’m still in bed though but I’m slowly making progress to make my way totally out of bed to see what the dizziness factor is upon standing.  Yesterday, it wasn’t pretty but after drinking a liter of Stoney Ginger Beer that was diluted with water and had those funky salts mixed in, and managing to eat two stale Weezy crackers, I’m back on my way to champ status. Ha. Guh!

So I’m not quite on a roll like I was when I began typing on Sunday but I wanted to exclaim – ROW AND I BUILT STAIRS!!  BY OURSELVES! J  Well, not entirely by ourselves but we fashioned the frame for the staircase and readjusted Ron’s prior outline so it could be more easily constructed with as few pain in the ass corners as possible, which Ron went crazy with.  Rome and Ann tied the rebar, Row and I did the frame and when the cement pour began, Tess and I stabbed and smoothed while Rome did the finishing touches and Row made sure the rebar supports didn’t fall as we worked our way up.  It was pretty glorious and amazing that we were able to do it all in one day!  It only took about an hour of me staring at the dirt and wood to manage the statement, “uhhh… maybe I should start screwing stuff together, or something.”  I believe I did mention in my previous post I thought Rome insane for thinking I could just whip up some stairs from out of my ass.  Apparently, she knows my skills better than I do and hand prints may have been left on the top step, downward dog style ;)  This also means when it rains like a beast, which it does frequently here, the “hill of doom” will have stairs as an alternative to the slippery, sloppy slope that many find their way sliding backwards down while trying to traverse. The older generations have a hard enough time tackling this hill when it’s dry so hopefully this will help, a lot.

Row’s hand is feeling much better today but she and I are left supervising stuff, or I will be once I can determine my ability to stand in the hot ass sun all day.  I also feel a strong need to find Nkwelle to tell him I was very sick when I was at his house and it wasn’t that the wine was not to my liking but that being anywhere was not in agreement with my need to be doubled over, heaving.  He noticed I had one sip of my wine and then gave my glass to Row when she had finished hers and he of course called me on it.  I just didn’t know HOW sick I was at that moment… 20 minutes later, I did.

Hours later…

I can’t help but feel bad I’m on day 2 of not helping with any of the projects, even though I can eat mildly flavored food without retching all over the place and drink something with flavor, because water tastes gross, I’m woozy as hell and walking out to feed the pigs, just a few meters away, takes significant energy.  Yes, I just said I feed the pigs, a task I’ve taken on since Mary left.  Since I’m pretty sure I was responsible for the annihilation of 2 of the 3 bathrooms in the convent, but not solely responsible, I should add, I felt it only appropriate I suck it up and clean the bathroom area.  As I was scrubbing the sinks I had my 2^nd of 2 “oh shit” moments of the day.  The first: “oh shit, why in the fuck did I send that email a month ago?!?!” *smacks head… hard* which was an “oh shit” moment resurrected thanks to a dream I had during the night – DAMN YOU SUBCONSIOUS.  You know when you ponder doing something and you’ve thought it through, talked it out and it seems like the best decision so you go with it, then ages later it hits you like a Mac truck it was probably a terrible idea?  Oh well, so goes life.  The second, I looked down at a toothbrush I was diligently using to scrub some schmoo from the faucet and realized it may actually not be one that was left behind but one used by someone!  OH SHIT!  At least I could take care of one of my moments – I threw the toothbrush away. 

I just got out of the shower and a praying mantis was crawling on the ceiling and I’m pretty sure I squished a venomous spider in our dining room.  Aww Africa.  The clouds are rolling in.  I better make sure there is progress on the drying of my sheets before I have nothing to sleep on tonight.