Kiss with a Fist

From board shorts/bikini top/flip flops to COVERED HEAD TO TOE!  My tan is destined to fade, god damnit!  I left Tessa and Megan and well, Cape Town yesterday, reluctantly and upon the Air France Airbus A380 taking off, a few tears streamed down my cheeks because the reality of leaving Africa hit, which also means I have no fucking clue when I’ll be back, which means I don’t know when I’ll see my friends in Lesotho again.  Emotional ball of mush I am!  The plane was magical!  OH…EM…GEE Airbus!  Way to go!  Boeing better get their shit out there and quick because flying in coach was a dream, especially since the flight was ½ booked and everyone pretty much had their own row.  I slept almost the entire duration of the flight, minus the few hours in the beginning I managed to get some food, wine and champagne down the chop and watch Social Network.  Eye masks are my new favorite thing, as is the Airbus A380 and empty planes. J  We landed to an announcement of 24 degrees and bloody effin snow on the ground!  Hey yo!  This is a change from the past 2 months! It was almost 90 and crystal clear blue skies in Cape Town/Joburg when I left.  Currently, I can’t feel my face after waiting only 5 minutes on the platform for my train to Brussels to arrive, which is good, because I managed to punch myself in the face with my water bottle, empty, THANK GOD, as I was throwing my bag into the overhead storage compartment.  I didn’t feel a thing but the sting of my nose piercing, which I have also learned, effective minutes ago, feels REALLY weird in below freezing temps.  Once I arrive in Brussels, I’m catching another train to Bruges, where I am going to spend the next few days, exploring and decompressing, by myself - a perfect way to transition from Africa to meeting up with friends and FINALLY meeting Marta after 12 years!  It was bitter sweet leaving Africa but goddamn I’m excited to see my friends I haven’t seen in ages, or EVER.

Cape Town was amazing.  The people are wonderful, the city is BEYOND beautiful and if I can manage to find a way to do it like that one yoga teacher did, I would love to live there post travels.  I don’t enjoy the racial divide and the “black fearing” rich, snooty, white man… at all, in fact, I hate it, especially since I’m far from a fearer of anyone.  On my last full day in town Tess, Megan and I went wine tasting, which was fun and as all wine tastings go, but at one of our stops a man offered to take our picture and afterwards asked how long we’ve been in South Africa.

                “We’ve all been here different lengths of time but all 3 of us were in Leostho volunteering anywhere from 2 weeks to 3 momths,” answered Tessa.

Behind his shades you could feel the disgust and confusion for why we, 3 white girls, would go to a impoverished, predominately black country.  This was not the first time we had that sort of reaction when we told people what we were doing in Southern Africa and it made me sick to my stomach.  I know either Bokong’s brother or sister lives in Cape Town and the whole time I was wondering what he/she was doing there and would have loved to meet up, I wondered what the kids would think if we took them to the cliffs of Cape Good Hope to see the infinite liquid horizon, I imagined them going nuts in the music store listening to all the different house music, I’m sure they hadn’t heard yet and here was this jack ass, glaring at us when all I wanted was for our friends to be with us.  It made me feel gross for sharing his same skin color.  Guh…

The three of us drank, ate, walked a lot, rode bikes alongside the road that ran parallel to white sandy beaches, saw tons of wildlife (ostrich, baboons, some little creatures I forgot the name of on our hike up Cape Good Hope), put our feet into the freezing Atlantic, watched our first sunset over the Atlantic, cooked breakfast, attempted to go kayaking on a ridiculously windy day, saw penguins during our land travels, since kayaking didn’t take place, listened to music, talked about our trip, our lives and our futures.  On the wine tour, during the introductions in the car, all the Germans were deep into their careers or finishing their studies in the likes of law, economics or finance, and others were taking time to teach English in Korea and the 3 americans, well, we’re deep into transitional periods of our lives where adventure and change is ruling our path.  Those two girls are gold!  It’s wonderful to find people who are great to travel with and the fact they are just amazing makes them precious new additions to my life.  I can’t wait to travel with the sisters again! J

Sometimes I feel like I’m that unstable, directionless person because I don’t have the life I once did, which was the “responsible” way to live a life but then I take a step back, usually while overlooking a countryside from the top of the hill, look at who and what I’m surrounded by and can’t help but think, “my life is fucking amazing.”  I don’t know what I want to do when I’m done with my travels, if they are ever done, but I know what I want to do NOW and that’s such a refreshing change for me.  When I dated Number 1 I was the super high strung type A and she was super chill and I remember, quite vividly a conversation we were having about all the things I wanted to do and she said, “baby, you know, you don’t have to do EVERYTHING right now!”  I got mad at her for not supporting my dreams but years after we broke up, I realized how right she was and how stressed out I had become, which in turn made me that raging bitch face Rome talked about.  Enjoying these moments, right now, with who I’m with and where I am, without worrying about what’s going to happen next is amazing. 

I have no idea what I’m going to do in Bruges today and no idea how long I’m staying here and no idea if I’m going to stay here longer or find a place to stay in Antwerp or Brussels before heading to Paris and that my friends, is awesome!  Live each moment, be in that moment and don’t try to rush from one thing to the next.  Take a moment, look around, breath, smile and enjoy.